When we decided to get married, in July of 2005, we knew we wanted some kind of spiritual service in a church-like atmosphere, but we knew we couldn't, and wouldn't want a Catholic service (our religion of origin). A wedding service was important to us because we were raised to appreciate such ceremonies and we knew that it would be the best way to get our families to understand the seriousness of our commitment to each other.
It was very important that we honored the friends who supported us always as well as give our parents an opportunity to be a part of the ceremony, if they wanted . We were very fortunate that our parents and extended family really stepped up and supported us. As we searched for a place to have our ceremony the Unitarian Church was the one place that seemed very spiritual without being dogmatic at all -- just the right balance for us. We found the First Unitarian Church in Oakland and Reverend Daniels seemed a perfect fit for us. We told her we would really like pre-marital counselling, and in those sessions we had amazing opportunities to work out what we really wanted for our wedding and our marriage.
Rev. Daniels had a packet of numerous elements for wedding ceremonies and that is what we used to design our service. We really wanted to making a promise to each other, with the help of our family, friends and a higher power. My dad read a passage from the Bible, to connect our service to Catholicism, and lend it some "legitimacy"(for our families), Vanessa's mom had a reading as well because we wanted all our parents involved. Then we had one of Vanessa's friends do a reading and we did a candle lighting ceremony to include some of our close friends, who were very helpful to us throughout the year of planning.
For the vows, I know we did change some of the words we wanted to use "serenity" instead of the original word and we wanted to add "one day at a time" after "as long as I live" because we both believe that all we can really count on is today, there is no lifetime guarantee, unless we renew our promise, through our words and actions every day.
We included the "introduction to the ring ceremony" because we liked the idea of stressing the inherent imperfection of a perfect circle. It seemed a fitting metaphor for our humanity and it could have larger political implications.
She declared us "spouses for life" we really couldn't come up with a better phrase. I wonder if other queer couples have come up with better phrases?
Our recessional song was the Irish Blessing because I wanted to have something traditional and Irish -- the main dishes for our reception were catered by a Filipino restaurant, so we were able to honor both of our cultures.
It was very important that we honored the friends who supported us always as well as give our parents an opportunity to be a part of the ceremony, if they wanted . We were very fortunate that our parents and extended family really stepped up and supported us. As we searched for a place to have our ceremony the Unitarian Church was the one place that seemed very spiritual without being dogmatic at all -- just the right balance for us. We found the First Unitarian Church in Oakland and Reverend Daniels seemed a perfect fit for us. We told her we would really like pre-marital counselling, and in those sessions we had amazing opportunities to work out what we really wanted for our wedding and our marriage.
Rev. Daniels had a packet of numerous elements for wedding ceremonies and that is what we used to design our service. We really wanted to making a promise to each other, with the help of our family, friends and a higher power. My dad read a passage from the Bible, to connect our service to Catholicism, and lend it some "legitimacy"(for our families), Vanessa's mom had a reading as well because we wanted all our parents involved. Then we had one of Vanessa's friends do a reading and we did a candle lighting ceremony to include some of our close friends, who were very helpful to us throughout the year of planning.
For the vows, I know we did change some of the words we wanted to use "serenity" instead of the original word and we wanted to add "one day at a time" after "as long as I live" because we both believe that all we can really count on is today, there is no lifetime guarantee, unless we renew our promise, through our words and actions every day.
We included the "introduction to the ring ceremony" because we liked the idea of stressing the inherent imperfection of a perfect circle. It seemed a fitting metaphor for our humanity and it could have larger political implications.
She declared us "spouses for life" we really couldn't come up with a better phrase. I wonder if other queer couples have come up with better phrases?
Our recessional song was the Irish Blessing because I wanted to have something traditional and Irish -- the main dishes for our reception were catered by a Filipino restaurant, so we were able to honor both of our cultures.
1 comment:
Just wondering, did you end up continuing with the Unitarian church? Were there other churches you contemplated having involved?
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