K & B's Wedding

K. was kind enough to share the vows she and B. created for their ceremony.

These were our wedding vows. We said them back and forth as a dialogue.

K) My princess, I stand before you today. I have traveled across oceans of time seeking the heart that calls me.

B) My prince, I stand before you on this day, many years past the cornfield of my birth, where I lay dreaming of the fairy tale prince who searched for me.

K) Many years I have searched

B) Many years I dreamed

K) Sunset bleeds dreaming into night, dawn again bleeds into day. Sunlight I will never see in the language of your eyes. Yet all the blue skies and clouds that tumble by are meaningless against midnight in your arms.

B) When I first saw you, sunset lit your eyes and I saw the prince no one else would see. I knew that you were someone special, and that I loved you. All that mattered was midnight in your arms. Although the path we walked has led us often apart, I realized you were always with me, soul to soul and heart to heart. My soul mate.

K) We have many roads to walk. The labyrinth may be edged in thorns but in shadow and light, sorrow and joy I will be there by your side. Although I stand in armor and you in corn silk and lace we become the balance of night and day.

B) The thorns no longer frighten me, they protect the rose. The labyrinth becomes a simple path. In the shadow you stand by me, your inner beauty blinds so strong that I no longer fear being myself. I no longer fear at all. In our balance I see life’s beauty, joy and the future unfold.

K) I come before you of my own free will, to offer my hand, my blade, my heart. My hands are to hold you, my sword to protect you, my heart to love you.

B) I join you here today of my own free will, to offer my hand and my heart. My hand to hold you as we walk side by side, my heart to love you.

K) As long as you will have me.

B) As long as you will have me.

K) As long as the stars shine in the midnight sky

B) As long as the dawn brings the light

K) As long as be both shall choose

B) As long as we both shall choose.

We exchanged rings and drank from a glass of water--as water makes up 90+% of our bodies, the symbol of sharing water represented a merging of who we were, as well as a merging of the universal.

We chose a commitment ceremony for multiple reasons, one to give strength and validity to our relationship in front of our peers and family, another to mark the agreement of commitment to mutual life goals. And...My girlfriend grew up wanting the big white dress and the fairy tale Cinderella wedding--it was one of her biggest childhood dreams and it was good to make that dream day come true for her.

The blending of traditional: white wedding dress, bridesmaids, flower girl, rings; with non- traditional: arch of swords, words as long as we both shall choose from pagan hand-fasting, my choice of clothes was difficult to work out. Originally B. wanted a traditional wedding in the church her mother was married in, with me in a Tux. I wanted a hand-fasting ceremony on the beach with a party afterwards, formal dress optional--come in your renaissance faire gear. The negotiations were long... The house was covered with Modern Bride magazines which spoke to the lack of material for non-traditional weddings/commitments out there.

Coordinating all the aspects of the weddings day was like on a rock concert with a stage show—we did all the work ourselves: cooking, flowers, set up, buring disks of music... “the day of” I spent hours on a walkie talkie working with my “crew” of friends... it was a big project, and we had a large location to set up, run, and clean for the entire day and evening.

It was fun. It was fun to write the vows, craft the ceremony, get websites for flowers, and figure all that out... and it was a fun day.

Having a clear commitment helped us merger tradition and non-tradition.